Moody Monday and Isabel

I put a lot of pressure on myself, in all areas of my life. One main area would be helping others and making them happy. I love doing things for others. I probably should have picked a career where I feel like I could help others more… Whether it be as simple as being there to listen, or a shoulder to cry on, or helping cook, or helping with school, or with motivating them, or buying something, whatever it may be I want to see them happy. If I was able to lend a hand in any way, it makes me feel good, it makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something. But when someone doesn’t take my offer of help…I feel like I’ve failed. Not only do I feel like I’ve failed them, but I feel like I’ve failed myself. I feel like my help wasn’t good enough.

And that’s been happening a lot in the last few weeks with some people really close to me. I can’t control everything and I know that, but these last few weeks its really gotten me down. I guess I just have to accept it and move on. Maybe they’ll come around some day…

I’m really trying to work on this not getting upset/frustrated easily thing. It’s hard. I’m pretty easy going, but ugh some things just really knock me on my butt. I definitely have a case of the moody Mondays..

Yesterday mom and I spent all afternoon shopping for food and cooking for the week. We made chicken thighs with peppers, onions, garlic, mushrooms and tomato sauce in the crock pot; dry rub pork ribs with garlic and onions and a can of diced tomatoes in the other crock pot; some ground beef with garlic, onions, peppers, and seasoning; and for dinner last night mom made pork tenderloin medallions and cooked baby carrots.

Sunday I ate: Breakfast: 3 eggs, 6 pieces of bacon, 6 strawberries Lunch: some chicken breast and a paleo treat Dinner: side salad 6oz pork tenderloin and 4 oz baby carrots.

Today’s food:

Breakfast: 3 eggs, 5oz ground beef mix, ½ brownie paleo treat Lunch: side salad 6oz pork tenderloin 4oz baby carrots, and other ½ of the paleo treat (trying to get these out of the way before the BBC IV at the Fort :-p) Dinner: 10 oz of chicken thighs and 1/2 cup mixed veggies

I’m excited for the next BBC. And I’m also excited there are some new ‘point systems’, like for the food log. I like this since I felt jipped last time because I was the only one to log my food EVERY day… I hope to see a lot of people participate and follow through to the end. It’s great to see how everyone changed. I also hope that with me starting my adventure a month before this challenge, my body will already be used to burning fat for fuel, so I won’t have to deal with those weeks in between where I don’t lose anything. Which will probably be the next two weeks coming up. I ordered some fish oil and vitamin D-3 online yesterday, in the mean time I’m taking some fish oil pills mom has… then it’s shot time with the liquid eeek. I’m really trying to do everything I can for my body to be as healthy as possible. I just need to work on this stress thing…

Strength: Press 3(70%)-3(80%)-3+(90%) (new training max – 37.5kg): 3@26kg - 3@30kg - 4@34kg

I've been struggling with the press the last few cycles. The last cycle I actually went down 2kg on my training max. So my goal today was to really focus on keeping my core tight and get at least 4 reps on the last set. I tried for 5 and got about half way, but just didn't have it in me. Overall, I was pretty happy with it.

WOD: “Isabel” 30 snatches (60/40) for time. Goal time 3:00-6:00. Compare to 9/30/10 (30kg 3:37)

Last time I did Isabel I used 30kg and completed it in 3:37. I remember that my last few reps sucked and kind of tweaked my back because I didn’t get under the bar all the way. My goal this time was to go a little heavier and really focus on my form. It’s a fast paced workout, but form is key. Today I went at 32 kg and finished in 3:51. I really wanted to do 35kg going into it, but I tried a couple reps and it just felt heavy, my body was tired and not feeling it. I was happy that I added 2kg and only 14 seconds to my time, even though I was pushing to finish at about the same time as before. But Jennie mentioned that I do this awkward chicken neck thing once I fatigue, so I need to just focus on pushing my head through and lock it out. Overall, I was pretty happy with today and look forward to this week of work ahead!

So now that I’ve surpassed the 163 mark, it’s getting into the 150’s. At one point during the BBC III the scale read 159, but that didn’t last too long. So this time I’m determined to make it there and stay there. My other goal by end of February/early March is to do unassisted pull ups in the WOD’s again. I was doing them for awhile before my injury. Granted everyone didn’t have my chin over the bar and it pissed me off to no end, but I think I just gave up when I walked in the door and saw pull ups on the board. This time I’m going to face that bar with all I’ve got and let go of those bands. I’m going to continue to use the bands on my dead hang pull up at home and at the Fort so I can gain some strength, but I want to be band free for pull ups again.

I’m really surprised at how many people are reading this blog and how many have said they enjoy reading it. It encourages me to keep going with it. I’m happy I’m able to share my journey with so many people and see it for myself typed out. Hopefully I can inspire at least one person with all of this...