Over it.

Downright miserable day. Many of you know that I've been absolutely frustrated with my job and career choice and am considering going back to school. Today was the fourth day in a row I've had a complete breakdown at work. This guy came up to me to give me some work to do and I couldn't focus for the life of me, everything he said was jibberish. I didn't understand what he was talking about because it's some new weird technology they're developing and I need to do some random crap for it. When he left, I realized I didn't care to learn what he said and I had absolutely no interest. Obviously I'm going to do it because I have to, but it was just another slap in the face to show me how miserable I am. I absolutely hate it. The only reason I'm there is because of the money. I've thought long and hard about all of this for a good couple of months now, I've looked for different jobs, I've tried convincing myself...like I've been trying to do for the last 6 years that engineering is a good option for me, but I can't do it anymore. Looking back at my college career, I did not enjoy a single class I took related to engineering, I didn't enjoy any of my co-ops...I enjoyed some of the people, but definitely not the work, and I've been miserable since May 24th of last year when I started working there.

It's frustrating to no end that I don't feel like I have the support I need from the people I need it most. They all feel like I'm just giving up on engineering because I only graduated last year and that I'm wasting my education and that all I need to do is find a different job at a different company. I've looked online for different jobs that I could do and I've talked to other engineers about it. And all anyone can come up with is consulting because that interacts with people, and to me that doesn't sound fun. I don't care how things work, like I said...for the last 6 years I've been trying to convince myself that I do. I don't recall ever being super happy and ecstatic when ever anyone asked me what I was studying or what my degree is in. I'm not wasting my education...it's still going to be there, if I change my mind in 20 years I can go back to it. If anything it helped me realize this isn't the right fit for me right now. I don't want to design things and I don't want to do research. So I'm sorry if it's so wrong of me to want to make a change so I'm not miserable the rest of my life!


Strength/Speed: 3 Press @ 50% of 1RM OTM for 8:00 31kg

Not much to say about this. Light load working on speed of the movement. Shoulder felt good.

WOD:
400m run
300 double unders
400m run

11:54

I was a little worried about this one just because my left foot has been pretty tight lately. It helped that I took friday-sunday off and let it rest, but I knew the jumping, let alone the combination of jumping and running would really irritate it. About 100 double unders in and it started to cramp up on me, so needless to say that last 200 were pretty harsh. Due to that my du's were so not on today and I was stringing very random little sets together here and there. I think the most I got at one time was 35, pretty pathetic. At 250 I felt a little dribble, but I was determined to finish those last 50 and didn't have any other issues after that one. phew. shoulders were on fire and the other thing that fatigued the most aside from my foot cramp. First run was pretty solid, second was pretty slow. pretty happy with that time, but interested to do it again when my foot isn't acting up!

Thursday 7/21/11
Breakfast: 3 eggs and blueberries/strawberries
Lunch: chicken breast and 2 cups of mixed veggies
Snack: larabar
Dinner: chicken sausage with some roasted green beans and potatoes
Dessert: 1/2 coconut milk ice cream


Let's hope tomorrow's a better day...blah.