Thursday, March 21, 2013

Is this a nightmare?

Sometimes I don't even know where to begin.

Am I living in a nightmare? Will I wake up tomorrow and everything will be better?

I know everything happens for a reason, but what the hell is the reason for this!?!

I had a terrible feeling things weren't working, and that came to reality yesterday.

This latest chemo treatment Jer has been going through has been unsuccessful again. His counts are the highest they've ever been. Damn near 200,000!!!!!!!!!! UGH.

Sometimes I don't even know what to feel, or think, or do, or anything. Trying to stay optimistic has been harder than ever.

I would do anything to have to deal with all the petty normal crap in our relationship. That in itself is enough. But this. This is just unfair. Three years is far long enough. But I don't know when this will end, or if it ever will.

Prayer angels, I need you.

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